Saturday, October 18, 2008

Sunday 19 October 2008

Dearest one,



Today is the third day since you've been gone. My mobile phone has become a part of me. Every single second, I will check my phone, for your sms or miss call. And till today, still no news from you. Where are you, dear? How are you doing? I know you are missing me like crazy, and so do i, dear. Really really miss you. Miss abang baaaaaaaaaaanyak2.

Abang, really hope abg will be back soon. But as for now, i really hope and pray that you are in a safe condition. Please do take good care of yourself, k dear. So will i. I promise to be a good girl and behave myself, just as u wanted. :-)

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Day 13

Tuesday (26/08/2008)

OMMIGOSH!!!! He’s back! He’s back!

I just can’t believe it. I was busy updating my blog last night, after having my dinner. Hoping that he will be back soon. Then I went to have my shower. When I came out, I saw a message on my phone and it’s from Ita. I was shocked and scared at the same time as the message reads “Kakak, please call my house now” Ommigosh….. could it be a bad news. No……

I called the house number and praying at the same time, praying hard that everything will be alright. Suddenly I heard “Hello….. “ at the other end. That hello which I’ve been waiting. That same hello which I’ve been missing so badly. I was silent for a moment while he continue saying “hello…. Hello…” hehehh MY CHOCOLATE IS BACK……!!!!!

That was last night. Today, I came to work feeling so cheerful, happy, excited……. I just can’t stop thinking about what had happened last night. So I tried calling him again. No answer. I guess he’s still asleep. So I decided to call back later. After an hour, I tried calling again and still no answer. When I came back from lunch, I tried calling him again. This time it makes me wonder if last night was for real, or was I just dreaming. It was just another dream But at the same time, I’m also worried if something had happened to him. I’m so worried. Tried calling him for another few more times, and still no answer.

Later, after dinner, I still try to call him. Where is he? What happened to him? And after a few tries, someone finally answered the phone. Ita told me that u were not at home. That’s all. So I guess everything is ok, except that maybe you went out to meet your friend.
I don’t know why. But at times I feel that he has been acting differently. I’m not sure why. I hope and pray that he will not change. Of course I would want him to change for the better, that has always been the highest priority in every of my prayers. But change of feelings…. Arghhh I’d rather not talk or think about it. Maybe because he did mention about meeting 2 girls in IMH that makes me feel this way. I don’t know. Anyway, so glad that you are back, Dear. Welcome home!!!!

Monday, August 25, 2008

Day 12

Monday (25/08/2008)

Technically, this is the 3rd week. But since you were warded on Thursday, I guess the count should also starts on Thursday, right?

What a start. I reach office late, 8.34am and my boss is already in. He actually greeted me good morning. Hehehe. I didn’t know that school holiday ends yesterday. Cos during school holiday, he always comes in late (at about 9.30am). Unlike normal days, he’ll be in as early as before 8 , he will be in his room already.

Anyway, enough about my boss. Work is as usual. Still working on my review. It’s a 2 weeks review and this week in my final week. So I need to finalize everything and prepare the final report for my boss. Gonna be a busy week for me.

Last night, I was online, updating this blog. Suddenly Ita said hi to me. Then she said, “Don’t worry, he’ll be back soon” hehehe As if she can read my mind sey, just how much I’m missing you. And I just can’t wait to let you read this blog of mine (If you have the time).

I was walking (as usual) to bro's office just now. Guess what i saw, Abang? The tree which that guy normally stays was being cut down. I realize something was so different but not sure what it was. Until a few minutes later, i realize that there was no more big tree. And the sad part is that, that guy still sits there, as if the tree is still there. Sedih me tgk him, abang. But he still says HI to me. hehehe.

Tonight, i make spaghetti. Me had a plate of it. Hungry la Abang. hehehe. What are you having for dinner tonight, abang? Make sure you don't skip your meals, ok dear. Abang must take good care of himself, OK.

Oklah Abang. it's 8.46pm. Me belum mandi lagi. buchukkkkkk! hehehe Me nak gi mandi, then continue with my beading. And as usual, letter reading session before going to bed. Abg must sleep early too, ok. LOVE YOU, dear.


Sunday, August 24, 2008

Day 11

Sunday (24/08/2008)

GOOD MORNING, chocolate dearie!

Today is Sunday. As usual, badminton session from 10am - 12noon. I was so tired but no injuries. Hehehe.

After the game, siblings, 3 cousins and I went for a simple lunch not far from the badminton court. Then we went home. After I took my bath and about to get some rest, bro and sis wanted to go out. Bro looking for a pair of shoes (working shoes) So me being me, tag along as usual. And you know what , Yang? I saw that baju meayu again. Everytime I see that baju, I think of you sey. I will get it for you. InsyaAllah , when I get my pay, k dear. I can actually see u in that baju. I’m sure Abang will look good in that outfit, right?

Reach home at about 7pm. Tonight, sis prepared fried rice. So I had that for dinner. It’s been raining in KL since afternoon. How I wish you were here….

I’m still working on my beading work, trying to keep myself occupied. It’s been 11 days, dear. How are you doing? Be strong ok dear. I know you can do it. Looking forward to seeing you. I love you, my dearest chocolate.

Day 10

Saturday (23/08/2008)

After the usual crying session last night, I woke up slightly late today. But not that late tough as I need to perform my Subuh solat.

Anyway, this morning, I was chatting with Rizah. She was rather down with her relationship while I was also sad, counting the days. Today, is the 10th days.

I was at home the whole morning, chatting with Rizah while searching for ideas for my beading design. Then later in the afternoon, I clean up the fish tank AGAIN. Only 2 manage to survive. I feel so sad la Yang. But u know what? I was just thinking, could it be that its all because I took photos of them? There’s myth which says that you are not allow to take photos of your pets, or else they will die. Yeah, I know I should not believe that. It must be a coincident, right dear?

After cleaning the tank, wawa asked me if I wanted to join her for window session. So I followed her to the shopping mall. Since salary is next week, I didn’t buy anything. Just looking around. And my eyes caught something interesting. A maroon baju melayu (baju kurung). Nice, yang. I was thinking of getting a pair for you. But I need to know your size. Maybe later, once you are back, I’ll ask you for your size, k dear.

Tonight, as usual, I kept myself busy with beading. But somehow, you are still on my mind. Just can’t get you out of my head. I was doing my beading till about 2am. Then I went to my room, as usual, read your letter, and went to bed. You know what , dear? By reading your letters, it somehow makes me feel that you are close to me. So close that I feel like you can actually hear ever word I say to you every night, before I go to bed. Good night,dear. I love you….. muah!

Friday, August 22, 2008

Day 9

Friday (22/08/2008)

You know what, Dear? I was listening to mp3 when I started to write this. And guess what? The moment I started to write, the song “Izinkan Ku Pergi” by Kaer starts playing. Remember the song, dear? Yeah, the exact same song I gave to you a week after we got to know each other, when at that time we thought that we will be separated.

Listening to this song, really makes me misses you even more. More than words can describe. “Pergilah rinduku, hilangkan dirimu Tak sanggup menangung derita dikalbuku”. I really hope that you will be back soon, Dear. Today, I started my day as usual. No different from the previous day except for one. I miss you more today, compared to yesterday.

As at today, still no news from you. I really wonder how are you doing, Dear? Are they taking good care of you? How’s your health? Please do take good care of yourself, k dear. I might be physically far from you, but I’m always close to your heart.

Day 8

Thursday (21/08/2008)

Thanks to my sis. She decided to prepare dinner for us and also invited my 2 cousins to join us. She prepared Chicken chop with mushroom sauce. As for me, I prepared the salad. The 5 of us had our dinner at about 8 pm. We had a good laugh at all the jokes while having dinner. Then after dinner, someone proposed that we go for a cup of coffee at one of the coffee shop nearby. It was 9.30pm when we left home to hv a cup of coffee. Again we were talking and laughing till our eyes filled with tears. I really thank them for if its not because of them, I would probably be at home, crying. Yeah, I had a great time tonight. How I wish you were here, joining us for a cup of coffee.

As it is I’m missing you. Did I tell you that most of my fishes are dead, dear? As at today, 12 are dead. I’m not of the reason. Remember I told you about my guppies which died a few days ago, now it’s the orange fish. 2 of them. Both died. Could that be a bad sign, dear? I’m so worried about you, Dear. I really want to know your status. How are you doing there? Is everything OK? Dear, please be back soon…….

Day 7

Wednesday (20/08/2008)

Today is day 7. It’s been a week and I’m missing you like crazy already. Gosh! Just can’t wait till the day that you’ll be back.

Yang, just to let you know, another 4 died today. I seriously don’t know what actually happened. What is the cause. All I know, I feel sad with the lost. And thank god you were not here. Cos if you were here, I bet you will have to listen to stories about my fishes day and night. Hehehe Kesian Abang.

So far I’ve yet to receive any updates from Rizah. S o I assume that everything is in good condition and that my dearest chocolate will be back soon. Be back to his kecoh panda, who is waiting for him and praying for him.

Abang, I’m sorry. I cried again tonight before going to bed. I don’t know why. I guess the bed has many memories about us. Too many. The moment I lay down, I will always look at my handphone. Hoping for a miracle to happen, you calling me. And I can hear that voice of yours calling me “Aaaaaayang”. Heheheh I really miss that, you know.

And when you come back, I will definitely let you read this blog of mine, which I’ve created especially for you. I will never stop writing, never stop counting the days, until you come back to me.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Day 6

Tues (19/08/2008)

I came to work as usual. And you know what, Dear? I received an email from my boss. He’s giving us lunch treat. We had Chinese. And my day at work was just as usual. In the evening, the regular evening walk to my brother’s office.

On the way to KLCC, I see people jogging, walking, dating, sending time with family and that makes me realize one thing. How different you are from the rest. When I see a man carrying his baby, or pushing around the stroller, I always imagine that it’s you. Even though I see many couples in the park, dating couples, that doesn’t attract my attention at all. And to tell you the truth, it never happen to me before. I use to envy those dating couples. But with you, I’ve actually move one step ahead, I see us as a family. You, me and the kids. Kecoh kan your penguin? But serious abang, I’ve never had such imagination with others, not until I met you.

I just couldn’t wait till tonight. So the moment I reach home, I read both letters again.

Abang!!! Bad news. I almost forgot to tell you. All my guppies are DEAD! The 3 of them! And also 1 angel fish. I’m not sure what actually happened. All I can remember, I clean the tank last weekend, before going back to Ipoh. And next thing I know, my fish died one after another. I guess the water mixture is not right. So I tried cleaning the tank again. Hopefully everything will be back as normal.

You know what abang? I manage to complete another beading work last night. Tomorrow, will start on a new one. Then maybe I can have a short break, because my back is aching already. Huhuhu.

Abang, how are you? Are you OK? Are they treating you well? I really miss you, dear. Just can’t wait for you to come home.

Day 5

Monday (18/08/2008)

Despite today being Monday, it was a productive day for me. Not to mention, a hectic one too. It started of with me having my very first meeting at 10am. Sort of like a kick-off meeting for my review. Then later, I had to brief the 3 new comers on the proSort of like a kick-off meeting for my review. Then later, I had to brief the 3 new comers on the processes that we have here. Once I’ve completed that, I continue with my review activities. Next thing I know, it’s 5.30pm already – BALIK TIME! Time really flies when u are occupied. But that definitely doesn’t stops me from thinking about you, Dear.

I’ve been thinking what are you doing at this moment. How are you? Abg dah makan? Abg miss me? And u know what? I miss calling you “abang…abang…abang.” 3 times like u always say.

Reach home. As usual, had my shower and dinner. Then continue with my beading work. My sister happily using the pc to play games. There was once , she asked me, why aren’t you using the pc lately? I told her your computer not working. Then she kept quiet.

Before going to bed, as usual, letter reading session. Yes, both letters. Good night, Abang. I miss you, Abang.


Monday, August 18, 2008

Day 4

Sunday (17/08/2008)

It’s a Sunday and I’m still in Ipoh. So the normal routine, drive mum to the morning market and bought breakfast for the 5 of us. Thank God my eyes are not swollen. Hehehe. But my gum still hurts. L

After we had our breakfast, helped mum with gardening, shifting the flower pots etc. And just then I realized that I’ve yet to transfer the phone numbers from my previous phone, to the new one. My dad is currently using the old one. J And you know what, Abang? All my smses are still there!!! Yes! Still residing in the phone which my dad is using (my old phone) OMG!!!! Well, I didn’t delete those sms earlier simply because I don’t have the heart to do so. Those sms means a lot to me. And I thought that once u chg the sim card, everything will be deleted by default. Guess I was wrong. Totally wrong. Cos everything was there. Now I hope that he is not creative enough to go through my inbox and read those sms. Huhuhu.

Anyway, left Ipoh abt 6pm and reach KL just in time to watch the badminton final (MY vs CHINA) and we lost.

Tonight, as usual, before going to bed, I read both of your letters and went to bed. But u know what? I didn’t cry tonight. J But that doesn’t mean that I don’t miss you, or love u any lesser than yesterday. I love you, dear. And I keep telling myself that this is for our future…….

Day 3

Saturday (16/08/2008)

Aaaaaabang! U know what? Ita finally responded to my message. I was so worried. And u know what? She agreed to inform me if there is any updates with regards to you. J

Abang, I’ll be going back to Ipoh today. I can still remember how upset my dearest chocolate will be whenever I told him that I’ll be going back to Ipoh for the weekend. And he will sulk like a lil baby. So cute! And I had to sneak to the kitchen when everyone is asleep, and make a call to my dearest one, just to coax him. Hehehe. And u know what, Abg? Because of all these, I miss you so badly tonight . And tonight, it’s my turn. I don’t know why, but I was crying like a lil baby. And I just couldn’t stop crying. Suddenly I miss you so bad that I feel like taking the car key and drive myself to IMH, just to see you. I cried and cried till I felt asleep. Next thing I know, it’s already morning.

Day 2

Friday (15/08/2008)

Today is the 2nd day. Its been two days since my chocolate got warded at IMH. And it feels like 2 years. GOSH…!!!!! I seriously don’t know how I’m gonna go through my life without him. At times, I feel like it’s a breakup. U know, the feelings like the person u love suddenly not there for you. You can’t call him. U can’t write to him. He’s just no longer there for you.

But in this case, its different. We need to be separated in order to be together. And I know all these pains and hurts is all worth going through. Therefore, I need to be strong, and so do you.

Abang, did I tell you that I receive your 2nd aerogramme today? When I came back from work, check my mail box, and your letter is already waiting for me. And yes, I read the letter over and over again. Gosh! I really miss you, sey.

I tried keeping myself busy with my beading but I still can’t get you out of my mind. So I get myself online, hoping that a miracle will happen and you’ll be there. L But thank god, Rizah was there. So I said hello to her. Hoping that by chatting with her can ease the pain I have in me right now. But there was no reply. And a few minutes later, she does ‘idle’. Uwaaaaaaaaaa…… I guess she’s asleep already. Huhuhuhu So I left the pc on, just in case she woke-up and reply my message while I continue with my beading work. I was awake till 3.30am.

And u know what? Everything was ok till I decided to go to bed. Just before that, like a routine, I just have to read both of your letters. Yes, I know. This maybe the 20th times I’m reading it. Hehehe. And I’m so glad that you actually send those letters to me. I LOVE YOU, dear. I really do.

I cried…..until I felt asleep.

Day 1

Day 1 – Thursday (14/08/2008)

The day is finally here. Today is the day. Today is the day I’ll be parted with the person I love the most. Not for long. But frankly, 3 weeks feels like 3 years for me, dear. In fact, it feels like forever. Arghhhh.

And too many things happened today and how I wish you were here. So that I can share all these with you, my dearest one. So I decided to create this blog, dedicated especially for you. Hopefully when you get a chance to read this blog later, perhaps you will understand just how much I love you, and missing you while you were away. Here how it goes.

My day started with a great start. I finally manage to find the courage to speak to your mum. Yang, I did it!!! I spoke to your mum! Hehehe. And thank god ii mange to talk to you before you leave. Surely gonna miss that voice of yours. I can still hear the way u like to call me “aaaaayang” J It can never fail to bring a smile on my face.

After we bid farewell (which was not as easy as it may sound, but we don’t have a choice), I went to work as usual. But this time around, I had to drag myself to work. How I wish I can just stay at home, and spend more time with you, dear.

When I reach office, my boss call me to his room. Then he asked me, “How long have you been here? 3 months?” So I replied “Not yet. It has only been 2 months p lus”

And you know what, dear? My boss hand me a letter. It’s my CONFIRMATION LETTER! He decided to confirm me sooner than 3 months , which was stated in the offer letter. This is a good sign, right Abg? But I have a mix feeling. U know why? Simply because now, I have to serve 2 months notice if I decide to leave the company. And I have not received any letters from “them” yet. But like you said, at least I’ve secured myself here, right? So regardless I choose to go or stay, I’ve got nothing to lose.

Talking to your mum and that confirmation letter, those 2 things already making me on top of the world. But I’m also sad at the same time. Cos I don’t get to share this happy moment with the one I love the most. How I wish you were here, Dear.

When I reach home, as usual I went to check my mailbox. Expecting some bills. But to my surprise, I receive AN AEROGRAMME…..!!!! and it’s from SG! It’s from you!!!!!!! Gosh I’m so happy. Too many things happening in a day la Yang. Whatever it is…. I’m so happy to receive that letter from you. I keep reading it over and over again. Even before I go to bed, I read it once again.