Letter

Aaaaaaaabang!!!! chak!!!!!!

Guess what? I'm writing to you tonight. As such, this will be a very short entry, ok. Can't wait to write to you. So many things I want to share with you. :-)

I've just stopped my beading work - to be continue tomorrow. hehehe It's quarter past eleven. I better start writing to you now.

I'll update this blog later ok.

sayang abang - MUACKS!!!!

I'm scared.....

Salam Abang,

I know it's late. 2.50am. To be frank with you, I can't sleep. I tried, but I'm too scared to close my eyes. Suddenly I have this feeling, as if - if i were to close my eyes, you will be gone. Far far away from me. And never would I want that to happen. Not tonite, not now, not NEVER!!! And since then, I've been crying. I don't know why. But I miss you and I feeling like I'll be losing you. I'm scared, Abang.

Abang, why am I having this feeling? This weird feeling? I sayang abang, and I don't want to lose you. :-( Promise me that you will never leave me. But if you ever leave me, I'm sure she's very much better than me. Otherwise, you wouldn't leave me, right? Make sure she take good care of you,ok Abang. I will always be here for you. All I want....... IS FOR YOU TO BE HAPPY!

Sayang Abang. muah!

It's a Saturday

Goooooood morning Sayang,

So sorry dear. I wanted to write to you last night. Tapi tertidur la pulak. Hehehe. Maybe because I've been sleeping late for a few days - in my attempt to complete my reading. hehehe. MUACKS!!!!

Abang, today, there'll be a birthday lunch for my nephew. He's 7. So maybe in an hours time, I need to go out, to search for a birthday present. But I still don't have a clue what I should get for him. Maybe a Ben10 T. What say you, dear?

Btw, your letter is still on the way. Yes, I was rather disappointed yesterday. Huhuhu. Really hope it will reach me today. :-) With that, it will make me the happiest girl, and also a great weekend. hehehe. Sayang Abang.

Adam & Hawa

I read this in a book and I really liked it

Hawa dicipta dari tulang rusuk Adam,
Bukan dari kepalanya untuk dijadikan atasannya,
Bukan dari kakinya untuk dijadikan alasannya,
Melainkan dari sisinya untuk dijadikan teman hidupnya,
Dekat pada lengan untuk dilindunginya
dan dekat di hati untuk dicintainya.

SAYANG ABANG.... SAYANG MUCH2.

Hurt....

Salam Abang,

Abang, how I wish you were here. And just how much I wish I can write to you and let you know what's bothering me. But I do not want to trouble you. As such, I decided to write in thiss blog instead.

Abang, you just don't know how it hurts when people around you making judgement without even trying to understand the situation. It hurts. It really does. Without knowing our constraints, they start passing remarks about our relationship. Questioning if we are really serious about this. But what hurts me the most, is when they started to question about you. Whats stopping you from moving to the next stage of this relationship. They say you are not serious about this. Since then, I can't stop crying. Neither can I stop thinking about you. Sometimes I feel shouting to the whole world about our situation. But I know, that will not help much. Instead, it might make things worst.

Abang, I miss you. Really hope that you can be by my side, close to me, to comfort me at times like this. I've got no one else to talk to other than you. But I will not write to youo about this incident as I do not what you to worry too much, ok dear

Abang take goodcare of yourself, ya. LOVE YOU!!!

Friday......

Salam Abang,

Just would like to share with you what happened to me last friday. No, I shall not mention this in my letter - afraid that you might be worried abt me. Anyway, out of a sudden, while i was walking to work, I feel like a part of me is missing. The pain, the hurt, mixed feelings. I'm not sure what it is, but all i know, out of a sudden, I miss you like crazy. And to make it worst, I almost break down in public. Luckily I manage to find the courage to continue walking till I reach my office. Huhuhu. Seriously, I really feeling like crying, Abang. Cos it really hurts knowing that you are not around.Knowing that I can't talk to you. Knowing that I can't hear your laughter. I MISS YOU!

and THAT NITE..... i cried like a baby. Sorry abg. I know i've made a promise not to cry, but I just can't help it. Please come home, Abang. Your penguin misses you alot.

Missing you, dearest one.

Assalamualaikum Abang ku sayang,
How are u, sweetheart? Do you have any idea how much I’m missing you? Suddenly the feeling of meeting up with you is so strong. Feel like taking the next flight and be there with you. I know…. I know… I have to be patient. Will you wait for me, dear?
Abang,
Today there’s a lot of work at the office. I feel so tired. If only you were here. You will sure crack some jokes, just to make me laugh. I miss that, dear. Miss that moment a lot. Sob sob sob.

Sepupuku Suamiku

Aaaaaaabang!!!!!
I know its been a while since my last entry. Sorry yg Sayang. Been rather busy completing beading orders. I really hope you don't mind. I promise to spend more time with you from today onwards, OK. I promise. Heeeee

Abang,
I've just completed reading this book. Guess what? I always imagine that the male character in this book is YOU. Yes, you - my dearest one. Ntah la, i just can sense the similarities. I might be wrong but I know I can trust my inner sense. :-) I know I might not be as pretty as the female character, but trust me - I LOVE YOU more than she loves her husband. MUACKS!

Such a romantic love story.

A date with Schumacher

Abangggggggggggg
I'm so excited today.
I actually have a date with Schumacher. Yes, the one and only, Michael Schumacher. :-)

Happy birthday, Sayang......

Tired..........

Abanggggggg

I'm so tired!!!!! sob sob sob.
My work load is increasing rapidly. Been receiving task after task each day. And to add to that, I've got 2 beading orders to be completed in 2 weeks time. :-( I'm seriously worn out already. Huhuhu.

Suddenly I remember what you wrote in one of your letters. "Beading is just a hobby, remember? Please don't worn yourself" Huhuhu Surprisingly, i really miss you Abang. Eventhough I know if you are ard, for sure Abang will bebel non-stop. kan kan kan. :-)

Abang tau tak, right now, while writing this entry, I am feeling sick already. Seriously hope i will not catch fever. Cos i really need to complete my beading. Ok la abang, I cont my beading jap k. Then i'll hit the bed, i promise.

Love you, Abang.

ps. Bila abg nak balik nih? Windu kat abang. MUACKS!!!!!

I LOVE YOU

Cinta Kau & Aku

Aaaaaaabang......

Guess what, dear? I was suppose to work on a beading order, but i ended up spending my weekend reading this book. Hehehe. I bought it a few weeks back, but was rather busy trying to complete another beading order. Some may say characters in books are only imagination of the author. I use to think the same way too, until I met you, dearest one. Since i got to know you, those characters somehow comes alive. And yes, that makes me the luckiest girl on earth. :-) What makes me feel even luckier is - being loved by you.


Earlier (last month, i think), I was reading this book. From the same author. Sometimes i feel that the author knows you and she create that character to fit you. hahaha. But thanks to her, everytime i read her books, I feel that you are very close to me. No doubt at times, it makes me miss you like crazy. huhuhu.

Beading marathon.

Hi Abang,

I know.... I know.... It's 2.30am and its LATE. Hehehe. Abang please don't be mad, ok. I'll promise to get a good rest tomorrow, ok ( i mean later today hehehe). I'm in the midst of doing beading. :-) - refer to the above picture. Deadline is next week and i'll be going back to Ipoh today. That is why I really need to work hard on this. After this I promise to sleep early, ok dear.

Today (friday), we celebrated my bro bestfriend's dinner. It was fun. :-) And u know what, dear? He was really surprised to see all of us.

Ok la dear, need to continue with my beading. Nanti tak siap pulak,k. Later i'll write to you again ya.

Windu abang.

Dear chocolate,

I know its been a while since my last entry. I've been wanting to write to you but I always end up sleeping. Like a log. hehehe. Sorry eh Abang dearie.
Abang, my days are extremely busy now. At work, boss had given me lots and lots of work, until i do not know which one should i do. :-( Then when i reach home, beading work waiting for me. I know i know.... but i couldn't help sleeping late every night. And you know what, dear? You don't have to worry cos I will catch-up with my sleep during lunch break. heeeee. Hey, look at the bright side. Hopefully i can lose some kg by skiping my lunch. hehehe

ok la dear. It's almost 1am already. I've just completed partial of my beading work. To be cont tomorrow. Ngantuk la. Abg take good care of yourself, ok. sleep tite. MUACKS!!!!

Pretty Woman.

Hye Sayang,

Looks like I've missed a few days not writing to you. I slept early. Mengantuk la dear. :-) How are you dear? Do u miss me? Do u miss me as much as i do?

I'm watching Pretty Woman on TV. How I wish you were here with me, Abang. I'm watching Pretty Woman while doing beading. hehehe

Abang, today i've received another beading order. Great huh. Looks like orders are coming in again. Alhamdulilah.

Love you, Abang

ps. I've written a message to your friend. However, I'm still waiting for her reply. Abang, something tells me that she likes you. And message from you given by another girl is not something that she's looking forward to. Oh Gosh!!!! I'm trying to be positive and I will never stop trying. Sorry dear,I'm not having doubts with you. Just uncomfortable with the situation. :-(

Good night, Sayang. MUACKS!!!!!

Sunday - Missing you.

Hye Abang,
It's 12.24am (suppose to be Monday already) Yes, I know I should be in bed at this hour, especially when tomorrow is a working day. I've just completed writing an aerograme to you. Will be posting it tomorrow. Abang wait for my letter ya. I miss you so much and if possible, I want to write to you every single day but that will bored you to the skull. hehehe

Ok lah dear, I think I'd better hit the bed. I'll write to you again (in this blog) tomorrow ya (or should i say later today since now is already Monday) hehehe. And first thing I want to do tomorrow is to go and look for this RED object!!

Goodnight , Abang. Sleep tight and sweet dream. MUAH!!!

Interesting wiken......

Aaaaaaaabang!!!!!

I know you gonna say "THAT IS SO YOU" hehehe but I still wanna share this story with you. You do know how clumsy your penguin can be at times. Today, is one of those days, her clumsy day.

Today is Saturday. As usual, I was left alone at home. So I decided to go to the night market (Pasar Malam). Just before I left home, I was reading your letters. ALL of them.

Left home at about 4.30pm. As usual, I took the train heading to Bandaraya station. Suddenly, at Masjid Jamek station (a station before Bandaraya), my brother called me. While talking to him, I don't know why, I got down from the train (at Masjid Jamek) Maybe it is because this is my usual station on working days. :-) while walking down the stairs, I realized that I got down at the wrong station. So, went up the escalator and waited for the next train.

Happily went to Pasar Malam and bought my fav Spring Potato.

Like a little girl who just got her lollipop, I walked to the station again - headed home. Happy happy happy. Few mins later, the train came and I quickly hop in. Little did i know, it was the WRONG train. arghhhhhhhh. When I realized that I was on the wrong train, had to get down and wait for the next train. hehehe. Clumsy betul la penguin abg ni, kan?

I think I'm gonna write to you tonite, to share this story with you. :-)

Crying tonite

Dearest abang,

I've just received your letter earlier today. I know I should be happy. I am indeed. So happy to hear from you. However, I just couldn't understand why am I crying now, while i'm typing this entry to you. Maybe the fact that you'll be missing the WorldCup (which is happening in June) is another way for you to inform me that your appplication for early release has been rejected. Suddenly I feel that Dec is just so far away, especially when i've already make plans to visit you soon. Why must this fact be so painful when it is nothing new and something which is expected already. Why, dear? I guess I've been putting too high hopes, huh. My fault. Maybe it is also because I'm missing you so very badly. huhuhu

I'm worried

Hye dear,

Today, is one of those days which i really really hope that you are here,dear. Remember how u use to comfort me everytime when I share with you my problems at work. Earlier today, I heard my big boss mentioning my name to my boss. To be frank with you, I'm freaking worried. Not sure why. Does he still have doubt in me, dear?

Yang, do you know that on my way back from work today, I imagine sharing with you my problems and your answer would be "Ayang, you are good, OK. There is nothing to worry about. Your boss knows you better. Ayang don't worry OK." Hehehe. What do u think, dear? Did i get the lines right? hehehe

Abang, I miss you.

Sad drama

Hye dear,

Had a busy day today. As usual 9 - 6 non-stop. I must say it's tiring, but i enjoy what i'm doing. So i guess i don't really mind the heavy load.


The printer which almost caused me serious migraine. hehehe

Dear, just an hour ago, i was doing my work in front of the TV. I happened to watch a malay drama. About this couple who loves each other very much - especially the boyfriend. The girl loves him but has never say the 3 magical words to him and he longed to hear those words from her. Reason given - she's not ready to say those words to him.

Just when she is finally ready, something happened. The guy died in a car accident and she know she will never get a chance to say those 3 words to him ever again.

So sad kan Yang and since then, i feel so disturbed. I hope that will not happen to us. As such, from the bottom of my heart - I LOVE YOU!

My Birthday Marathon

Hello dear,

Just to share with you a lil about my birthday marathon. Hehehe
My birthday - 23rd Jan falls on Sat.
Therefore, my bestfriend Amy decided to send me a Teddybear on Fri. So sweet of her, right dear. :-)And guess what? Everyone thought it was from you. I didn't bother to explain. hehehe. Naughty of me, huh. :-)



Then on my birthday, we went back to Ipoh and mom prepared BBQ dinner for me. Yummy!!!! Spend the whole evening bbq-ing. My brother's friend, cum family friend also came for that simple dinner.It was fun. Wish you were here, dear. Love my family so very much for that lovely dinner.



On monday, when i came to work, a friend of mine at work asked me about the teddybear. Then she found out that it was my birthday. And you know what, dear? On Tues, when i came to work, I saw this on my table. hehehe. It was from her. So sweet kan?


Abanggggggggggggggggg!!! This is a birthday cake from my close friends. Lovely, right? It's carrot cheese cake - and i love it! It was really a surprise as I thought they didn't plan anything for me. Suddenly there was a call from an unknown lady, asking me to meet her at the lobby. :-)

25th January 2010

Sad sad sad.
Despite today is Monday, it has been a rather a busy day for me till time flies really fast. But that doesn't seems to make me stop thinking about you. Yes , i know i've made a promise last night that i will not write to you for a week but i'm not sure how long i can take this. I'm missing you like crazy despite what you have done to me. Its that weird?

Dear, why must you do this to me? I know I might not be as good looking as other girls or as successful as them, who have been with you, but that doesn't mean that you can do this to me. Sob Sob sob.

Whatever it is, you take good care of yourself ya. When i have the guts to write, I'lll write to u ya.

Love u, dear.

24th January 2010

Hello dear,

My very first entry for 2010. hehehe.
Yang, thank you very much for the letter. I received your letter on Friday (a day before my birthday). Ita was praying for it to arrive on my birthday, while i was hoping for it to reach me a.s.a.p :-)
Yes, i'm happy to receive your letter but the content seems to be bothering me. Send warm regards to your friends through me. I know i should not be worry or to be exact - i should not be foolish, but i just could not help it. :-( Kak Ida said that you might just be testing me. If that is true - why? Why would you want to test me, dear? Doesn't make any sense, right?
Anyway, not to worry. I will not mention anything in my coming letter (in order not to worry you)That is why i'm writing everything here -in this blog. I do not want you to worry too much but I just have to let it out, how I feel about all these things.
Do you still love me as much as you use to? Or is your love fading away as time goes by? I try to understand, and still trying. Hopefully there will be some light (for me) at the end of this tunnel.
Whatever it is..... i still love you the same and hope you love me too, dear chocolate.

Good night & sweet dream.

20th October 2009

Hello dear,

I have decided to write to you as frequent as possible – even though a short entry. Hope you don’t mind, dear. You know how “good” I can be when it comes to writing. Hehehe

Anyway, I’m feeling rather sleepy today. I didn’t do any beading work last night but I guess my biological clock is so used to late nights. As such, I was wide awake despite of the darkness. I stayed awake from 12 – 2am. What was I doing in the dark? Well, clearing my mobile phone inbox and reading all your smses. I miss you la Yang.

Due to that, guess what your lil penguin did yesterday? Suddenly the idea came to me while I was in the train, otw back. Remember I use to keep your voice clip which says “I love you”? Well, me trying to be creative, I actually insert that clip in between every song in my playlist. There for, once a song is over, I can hear u saying “I love you”, then followed by the next song. Ha-ha-ha. Cool eh!

I told Ita about this and say “Please don’t say that I’m insane”. Guess what she said,Yang? She said “You are insanely inlove, kak” ha-ha-ha. Kecoh la me, kan?

October 19, 2009

It’s been long since I last written any entry to you. Really am sorry abt that ya. I’ll promise I’ll to you more frequent in future. Hehehe

Dear, I’ve been missing you a lot lately. I have been writing letters to you but till today, no reply. Sad sad sad. How are you dear? Are you OK? I’ve asked Kak Idah, if she’s ok. Cos she once told me that both of you have this “twining effect” (I gave that name..hahaha) It simply means that , if one of you were to fall sick, the other one will feel the same. So when she said she OK, just a lil stress due to work, I guess u must be feeling the same. Abang don’t over work, ok. Ha-ha-ha look who’s talking. Hehehe

U know what, dear? I’ve found out that everytime I read your letters or emails, I can feel your presence and that somehow ease the pain I have in me (from missing you). Your sweet words…. The way you express your love…… I really find it very soothing. Thank you dear, for writing to me those lovely emails. They are like treasure to me.

Yang, remember about my beading work? I know I promise to take a break after raya, but I guess I have to break that promise la, Yang. Two weeks ago, I received a dress and yesterday, received another baju kurung. Huhuhu. At times I do feel tired and stressed but hey……. Maybe this is what they call “rezeki”, betul tak, Abang? Alhamdulillah. So I should not say no to it, right? At least it can help me with my expenses. Who would have thought that this little business of mine can actually have these many customers.

But despite all that....... I'm missing you so badly.

Just to share my lil beading assignment over the weekend. :-)

Being hurt.....

Dearest one,

If only you know just how much I love you, you would probably know how deeply hurt I can be right now. If the saying goes “First cut is the deepest”, but this time around, the cut goes deep to the core.

The idea of viewing your Tagged was actually not a wise move. It was meant to help me to ease the pain I had from missing you. However I ended up crying to the whole night. I feel hurt, betrayed, cheated by the person whom I loved the most. Nevertheless, zillion thanks go to that little angel of mine (Ita) who actually helped me to be strong.

At times, I wonder, it is the distance, or maybe the presence or it is just the person. I don’t know. However, if you decide to change your mind, please don’t hesitate to tell me. I will be lying if I were to say I’m ok with that decision of yours. However, I will definitely pray for your happiness.

You once told me that it is not easy to be there. Today, I guess I’ve proven that it is not easy to be out here too. Gosh! What am I doing? I’m sorry dear…. So so sorry. I guess when you miss a person so badly , you have the tendency to do stupid things and this is a very good example. Stupid and yet painful. Whatever it is, whoever you choose, always remember that someone in a far away land loves you much much.

Sunny Sunday

Monday 1 June 2009

Hello dearest one. Just to share with you about the adventure I had yesterday with my little sister, Wawa. Bro had some work to do. Therefore, sis and I decided to have our lil girls’ day out thingy again. We left home at about 11am and came back at 4.30pm. hehehe. Yes, we shop and shop and shop until we could hardly have any strength left to walk. Initial plan was to get both of us a pair of good running shoes. Adidas shoes to be more specific. Hehehe. That was the initial instruction given by bro. However, I think you should know me too well by now. And wawa is no difference . So, as a result, we ended up buying 2 pairs of outing shoes each and some office outfits. Hehehe. When we reach home, bro asked “Where are the running shoes?”

Guess what answer did we gave. “We couldn’t find the shoes” hahaha. Bro didn’t say a word after that. kekeke

Sorry dear. So sorry . I plan to write to you last night. However, I was so tired and my knees are aching. So I jump into bed early. Sorry eh Sayang. I’ll promise to write to you tonight, ok. Meantime, I’m still waiting for your reply. By the way, Ita told me not to write to often to you, or else they will keep my letters and will only hand over to you the following month. So I decided to write more often to this blog of ours. Please don’t think that I’ve forgotten you or love you any less after you left. All remain intact. In fact, it continues to grow and waiting for you to be a freeman for it to bloom, blooms like flowers do during springtime.

Night at the Museum 2

26 May 2009, I went to watch Night at the Museum 2 at KLCC. As usual, me and my siblings. Don’t worry, dear. No guys dare to ask me out. hahaha! Anyway, I went to buy the tickets after work and the show started at 9pm. The best part was, yesterday was Ladies Night. When the guy at the counter asked me “All ladies?” , I don’t know why I answered “Yes” hehehe. So ended up feeling panic, in case bro didn’t get through. But phewwwww, they were not that strict that night. Hahaha. Otherwise, bro would need to wear a shirt (not to mention those unshaved legs hahaha).

Anyway, really enjoyed the movie. Hilarious. It manage to keep me awake, despite having a plate of Chicken Rice just before the show. Hehehe.
But dear, no matter how great a movie can be, it doesn’t feel complete, without you around. Really miss u, much much much.

Water bottle

Helloooo… It is me again. I have just posted a letter for you today. Hopefully it will reach you safely and will make your day. Don’t worry if they don’t allow you to reply, ok dear. I know, deep down in your heart, you will be saying, “I miss you so much and love you much2 more” hehehe.

Anyway, here I am, writing to you via blog. At times, I do get confused between letters and blog. I thought I have told you about something but it was actually written in this blog. hehehe Kecoh la me, kan? Anyway, last Sunday, as usual I went out with my siblings. I bought a water bottle, for my jogging session. Hehehe. It’s green and small 450ml. Wawa said, might as well u use the mineral water bottle. Bluekkkk….!

Beef burger with Mushroom sauce.

Beef burger with mushroom sauce.

YUMMYYYYYYY…..! Guess what? I actually prepared this dish. Unbelievable? Well you better believe it dear! Your little kecoh penguin prepared this dish. Hahaha. Of course it taste great la dear, despite this is my very first attempt to prepare western meal. Hehehe. But you know what, dear? I got the recipe all mixed up. Beef, shallots, parmesan cheese and spices all mixed together. Then deep into the egg and roll on the breadcrumbs before putting it in a pan. Fry till cook. Well, that was what I did.

But do u know what is the actual recipe? Mix all the above and fry. Hahaha. So the breadcrumbs and egg are suppose to go INTO the mixture. No dipping or rolling is required. Kekeke Kecoh kan your penguin ni? Take a look at this photo. I missed out the coleslaw. It’s in another bowl. :-)

My Stepper

Hello Abang,

How are you? It has been a while since my last entry in this blog. It ‘s weird to know that one can have lots of think to share but when it comes to writing, your ideas and stories just vanished in thin air.

Anyway, today, I feel like sharing with you something which is very dear to me, who is now my best friend while you are away. Tadaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

My dearest STEPPER!!! Hoyay!!!! Abang, meet my stepper. Stepper, meet abang. Kekeke. But unfortunately, my is black. How I wish I can get this blue unit. Whatever it is, a stepper is still a stepper, right? However, I still prefer to jog, where you get to enjoy the beautiful view and fresh air. Hey, you know what, dear? This is the 4th week ever since I started to jog. Which is equivalent to a month. Cool eh? And this also means, that you have been away for 5 weeks.

I really2 miss you la dear. When are you coming back?

Visiting Day.....

Last night, at almost midnight, I was getting ready to go to bed. Suddenly Ita sms me. Asking me if I’m online. She has some news for me. Somehow, my heart beats faster than usual. Scared, excited, panic, happy, all mixed feelings. So I quickly login to MSN (using my hand phone) and chat with her. I have to say her very first sentence disappoint me to the core. “Kak, we will not be visiting abang tomorrow” At that moment, I feel blank, lost and not knowing how to respond. It is simple because I have been looking forward to this day, for me to get updates from you. The duration, the situation, the progress and most importantly, to get your mailing address, so that I can write to you. So the thought that she will not be visiting you, really break my heart. However, it doesn’t last long.

Her next line was, “Abg called kak ida. He said he will not be long there , so no need to come and visit” That really brings a smile on my face. You know why? This simply means that I will be seeing my abg real soon. Will be looking forward to that day. I was so into the visiting issue, until I forgot to ask ita how are you doing kat dalam. I hope everything is O.K.! Not to worry about me. I’m still here, waiting for you. :-)

You'll Never Walk Alone

Liverpool (3) vs New Caste (0)

Hoyay!!! That was the result from yesterday’s game. The game started at 8.30pm. We reach KL (from Ipoh) at about 8pm. Then bro and cousin decides to watch the game at Mamak. The girls are also invited (Jan, Wawa and me). It was fun, to watch the game with the rest of the Liverpool fans. I think this is my first time, watching the game in public. Hehehe.

Went back home right after the game. My cousin sent me and sis back as bro going for his badminton session with his friends. Reach home at about 11. I chat with Ita before going to bed. She was telling me about her plan to further study. Of course I encouraged her. It’s for her own good and she will definitely benefit from it. I also mention to her that despite all these, it is definitely not going to be a bed of roses. I had to struggle for 4 long years to obtain my degree. Good things don’t come easy.

Wah..! Now I can be a motivator eh? hehehe

My Soulmate

This is my favourite ....!

MY SOULMATE!

DEAR READER,

THIS COMES IN HOPING TO FIND YOU WELL;
THERE'S SOMETHING INSIDE ME I OUGHT TO TELL.
AS MY FINGERTIPS PUNCH EVERY WORD;
I REALLY, REALLY HOPE YOU'LL LIKE MY WORK.

I CAN'T REMEMBER WHEN I BID MY FAREWELL;
BUT 7 YEARS OF HAITUS, I'M CAME BACK FROM HELL.
WHEN I GAIN, AT LAST, MY FREEDOM BACK;
CLUELESS OF ME, UNSURE WHAT TO EXPECT.

I STARTED TO ROAM TO A DESTINATION OF NOWHERE;
INSIDE ME I KNOW SHE'S OUT THERE, SOMEWHERE.
COME UNDONE, I STARTED TO DESCEND MY PACE;
THEN I SAW THIS INNOCENT, SMILING FACE.

AT ONE GLANCE, IN MY HEART I KNOW IT WAS YOU;
THAT CONSTANT SILHOUETTE THAT I'VE ALWAYS VIEWED.
SUDDENLY, THE CRAVING TO KNOW YOU IS REAL;
IS THIS FEELINGS I HAD GENUINE OR MERE VIRTUAL?

WITH SHAKING HAND I THROW THE DICE;
WAITING ANXIOUSLY, HOPING FOR HER REPLY.
SCRUTINZING AT THE BLINKING SCREEN BEFORE ME;
FOR HOURS I'VE WAITED, YOUR ARRIVAL YET TO BE SEEN.

SO I PACKED MY BAG, BID MY GOODBYES;
WITH TREMBLING HANDS, WEARY EYES.
ISOLATED MYSELF, DON'T WANT TO COMMUNICATE;
CAME UNEXPECTEDLY, THIS E-MAIL FAR AWAY'

AS I CLICK, MY ADRENALINE RUSH LASTED FOR HOURS,
SAY YOU'RE FOR ME AND THIS RELATIONSHIP I'LL ENDEAVOUR.
SOMETIMES I THINK THIS STATEMENT IS FUNNY TOO;
BUT DEAR, I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU EVEN BEFORE I MET YOU.

I'LL LEAVE EVERYTHING BEHIND IF YOU ARE MEANT FOR ME TO TAKE;
WITH THESE FORLORN HANDS, I'LL BUILD A CASTLE FOR YOU TO STAY.
PLEASE BE THE QUEEN OF MY VERY HEART, I BEAR NOT BE APART;
LEAVING ME IS LIKE TEARING ME INTO SMALLEST, SMALLEST PARTS.

I'LL CALL YOU IF I'VE A KING'S RANSOM IN DIME;
JUST TO HEAR YOUR VOICE THROUGHOUT THE NIGHT.
IF YOU ARE NOT MEANT FOR ME, I'LL BREAK;
THEN I'LL STRIDE AWAY FROM YOU, MY SOULMATE!

For the one i love......

This poem was written on 17th May 2007.
I can't believe I actual wrote this poem for you, dear.
Hahaha (How on earth I manage to write such lovely poem)

3rd February was when I met my soulmate,
Special person which I will never trade.
Roses are red, violets are blue,
My life begins when I met you,

Starts with a hello, short and simple,
Grows into something irrevocable,
To live without you, it's just impossible,
Dear, you are so irreplaceable,

You make me feel like I'm in heaven,
The best place that God has given,
Friendster and MSN brought us together,
Heartening the "butterfly" to fly ever higher.

To be with you, I'll run all the way,
Even if it means crossing the causeway.
Keep your promise, dear, somehow, someway
I beg you, Sayang, please don't you go away.

In my heart you will stay,
Never will I let it slip away,
Always keep this in mind what I will say,
I love you till my dying day.

Jogging session @ Tasik Permaisuri

Good morning dearest one,

How are you today? I'm feeling great with a slight bodyache. Maybe it's due to my jogging session by the lake yesterday evening. When to the lake with my sis and parents. In total, i guess i jogged for almost 4km. Not bad eh? Can't wait to surprise you with my new appreance. However, most importantly, I want to be healthy.

Did I tell you that recently, a guy had a chest pain. So he drove himself to the hospital. Upon reaching the hospital, Dr claim that he's in good condition and nothing to be worried about. Out of a sudden, he collapsed and passaway. It was a sudden death to the family and friends. Sad, kan dear. So that is why, I'm trying to start a new healthy lifestyle. hehehe. Wish me luck, ya. Plan to go to the lake again today. Hoyay...!!!!

It's my jogging day....

I DID IT! I DID IT!

Do you know why I am so excited, dear? It is simply because I finally manage to get myself out from the house and jog! Yes, you read it correctly. Your little penguin went for a jogging session with her brother and sister yesterday evening (after work). It is only for a short distance but at least something for a start, right? In total, I jog for about 3km. Not bad kan? hehehe Too bad I didn’t get a chance to snap a photo of me jogging. Maybe I’ll do that in the next session and post it here, k. Like you said, you have done your part. So now, it is my turn, to play my part. Wait for you patiently and also get rid of some kilos. Hehehe I want to surprise you with my new appearance and hopefully it will happen.MALAYSIA BOLEH!

Your crying baby

Hehehe...... Buruk kan? This is your crying baby, dear. Naughty girl eh, tak dengar cakap abg, not to cry. But surprisingly, I didn't cry that often. Serious la dear. Hehehe.... Hard to believe eh? Well, u know what? I cried last night. Reason being, ever since you are gone, I've always wanted to dream about you. But sad to say, you have never appear in any of my dreams. And i miss you so badly. That was why I cried last night. You know what , dear? Last night, finally you appeared in my dream, in the most romantic way. :-)

Thank you dear, for making that appearence. However, at 3am, i was waken by the strong wind. It was raining heavily outside with strong wind. Due to strong wind, my window was widely open. As such, my curtain was flying as if nak tercabut already. Hahaha..... (My english rabak sey) Anyway, too bad that sweet dream had to end suddenly :-( sob sob sob. Anyway, at least I got to see you, eventhough justin a dream.

Love you, dear.
I know, you miss me too over there.
Be patience my dear. Think about the future, our future, ok.
Can't wait to write to you. :-)
Its getting late. Its now 2340hrs. I better hit the bed or abg gonna shout at me and say "Ayang....... SLEEP!!!!!" hehehe
I miss that shout of yours. huhuhu
Many atimes I almost dialed your number, thinking that you are around. :-( Looking forward to the ending of this short separation.

Love you. MUAK!!!

21st April 2009

Dearest Abang,

Sorry for not updating this blog for a while. Life has been pretty hectic lately. But that doesn't mean that I've forgotten you. Not even for a single millisecond that you are not in my thoughts, dear. Anyway, want to share these photos with you. Last Saturday, I miss you so badly.

To overcome that, I decided to clean up my bedroom. Abang want to see the result? See! I told you I can manage myself and keep myself occupied while you are away. So worry not my dear. Your little penguin will be just fine. Check-out these photos, dear. My bedroom.

16 April 2009

GOOD NEWS.

I was on the way to work, to be more specific, queing for my train, i received a text message from "Ita SG". And u know what, dear? She told me that "Abg has long surrendered, since 11 April". I know i should feel sad, but instead only God knows how relief I felt. At least now I know that you are safe, dear. Most of all, I'M SO PROUD OF YOU, My dearest Abang. Proud because you finally took this major step. I'll wait for you, this I promise you.

Ita told me that she will be able to visit you in 2 weeks time. I'll be counting the days. In fact, i'm counting the day that you'll be released.

Take good care of yourself, k dear. Cos I am.

13th April 2009

Today is the fourth day since you have been gone. Ita and I have been worrying and waiting for you. We pray that you are in a place somewhere safe and in good health.
Is this what you meant when you say “It’s hard to say goodbye to someone you love?” Well, dear, you don’t have to worry about me, ok. I’ll be fine. I’ll promise to take good care of myself and wait for you.

You know what, Yang? Yesterday, my siblings, and me went to watch a movie, Fast and Furious 4. One of the best movies. Nanti when abang dah release , we shall go for movies together, ok. Yesterday wawa booked for an early bird show, 11am. And the rule is that, we need to collect the tickets 45mins before the show. So you can imagine the “chaoticness” at home, having to wake my brother on Sunday morning. Arghhhh. Anyway, I really enjoy the movie. Not to mention Van Dissel too hehehe.

Sunday 19 October 2008

Dearest one,



Today is the third day since you've been gone. My mobile phone has become a part of me. Every single second, I will check my phone, for your sms or miss call. And till today, still no news from you. Where are you, dear? How are you doing? I know you are missing me like crazy, and so do i, dear. Really really miss you. Miss abang baaaaaaaaaaanyak2.

Abang, really hope abg will be back soon. But as for now, i really hope and pray that you are in a safe condition. Please do take good care of yourself, k dear. So will i. I promise to be a good girl and behave myself, just as u wanted. :-)

Day 13

Tuesday (26/08/2008)

OMMIGOSH!!!! He’s back! He’s back!

I just can’t believe it. I was busy updating my blog last night, after having my dinner. Hoping that he will be back soon. Then I went to have my shower. When I came out, I saw a message on my phone and it’s from Ita. I was shocked and scared at the same time as the message reads “Kakak, please call my house now” Ommigosh….. could it be a bad news. No……

I called the house number and praying at the same time, praying hard that everything will be alright. Suddenly I heard “Hello….. “ at the other end. That hello which I’ve been waiting. That same hello which I’ve been missing so badly. I was silent for a moment while he continue saying “hello…. Hello…” hehehh MY CHOCOLATE IS BACK……!!!!!

That was last night. Today, I came to work feeling so cheerful, happy, excited……. I just can’t stop thinking about what had happened last night. So I tried calling him again. No answer. I guess he’s still asleep. So I decided to call back later. After an hour, I tried calling again and still no answer. When I came back from lunch, I tried calling him again. This time it makes me wonder if last night was for real, or was I just dreaming. It was just another dream But at the same time, I’m also worried if something had happened to him. I’m so worried. Tried calling him for another few more times, and still no answer.

Later, after dinner, I still try to call him. Where is he? What happened to him? And after a few tries, someone finally answered the phone. Ita told me that u were not at home. That’s all. So I guess everything is ok, except that maybe you went out to meet your friend.
I don’t know why. But at times I feel that he has been acting differently. I’m not sure why. I hope and pray that he will not change. Of course I would want him to change for the better, that has always been the highest priority in every of my prayers. But change of feelings…. Arghhh I’d rather not talk or think about it. Maybe because he did mention about meeting 2 girls in IMH that makes me feel this way. I don’t know. Anyway, so glad that you are back, Dear. Welcome home!!!!

Day 12

Monday (25/08/2008)

Technically, this is the 3^rd week. But since you were warded on Thursday, I guess the count should also starts on Thursday, right?

What a start. I reach office late, 8.34am and my boss is already in. He actually greeted me good morning. Hehehe. I didn’t know that school holiday ends yesterday. Cos during school holiday, he always comes in late (at about 9.30am). Unlike normal days, he’ll be in as early as before 8 , he will be in his room already.

Anyway, enough about my boss. Work is as usual. Still working on my review. It’s a 2 weeks review and this week in my final week. So I need to finalize everything and prepare the final report for my boss. Gonna be a busy week for me.

Last night, I was online, updating this blog. Suddenly Ita said hi to me. Then she said, “Don’t worry, he’ll be back soon” hehehe As if she can read my mind sey, just how much I’m missing you. And I just can’t wait to let you read this blog of mine (If you have the time).

I was walking (as usual) to bro's office just now. Guess what i saw, Abang? The tree which that guy normally stays was being cut down. I realize something was so different but not sure what it was. Until a few minutes later, i realize that there was no more big tree. And the sad part is that, that guy still sits there, as if the tree is still there. Sedih me tgk him, abang. But he still says HI to me. hehehe.

Tonight, i make spaghetti. Me had a plate of it. Hungry la Abang. hehehe. What are you having for dinner tonight, abang? Make sure you don't skip your meals, ok dear. Abang must take good care of himself, OK.

Oklah Abang. it's 8.46pm. Me belum mandi lagi. buchukkkkkk! hehehe Me nak gi mandi, then continue with my beading. And as usual, letter reading session before going to bed. Abg must sleep early too, ok. LOVE YOU, dear.

Day 11

Sunday (24/08/2008)

GOOD MORNING, chocolate dearie!

Today is Sunday. As usual, badminton session from 10am - 12noon. I was so tired but no injuries. Hehehe.

After the game, siblings, 3 cousins and I went for a simple lunch not far from the badminton court. Then we went home. After I took my bath and about to get some rest, bro and sis wanted to go out. Bro looking for a pair of shoes (working shoes) So me being me, tag along as usual. And you know what , Yang? I saw that baju meayu again. Everytime I see that baju, I think of you sey. I will get it for you. InsyaAllah , when I get my pay, k dear. I can actually see u in that baju. I’m sure Abang will look good in that outfit, right?

Reach home at about 7pm. Tonight, sis prepared fried rice. So I had that for dinner. It’s been raining in KL since afternoon. How I wish you were here….

I’m still working on my beading work, trying to keep myself occupied. It’s been 11 days, dear. How are you doing? Be strong ok dear. I know you can do it. Looking forward to seeing you. I love you, my dearest chocolate.

Day 10

Saturday (23/08/2008)

After the usual crying session last night, I woke up slightly late today. But not that late tough as I need to perform my Subuh solat.

Anyway, this morning, I was chatting with Rizah. She was rather down with her relationship while I was also sad, counting the days. Today, is the 10^th days.

I was at home the whole morning, chatting with Rizah while searching for ideas for my beading design. Then later in the afternoon, I clean up the fish tank AGAIN. Only 2 manage to survive. I feel so sad la Yang. But u know what? I was just thinking, could it be that its all because I took photos of them? There’s myth which says that you are not allow to take photos of your pets, or else they will die. Yeah, I know I should not believe that. It must be a coincident, right dear?

After cleaning the tank, wawa asked me if I wanted to join her for window session. So I followed her to the shopping mall. Since salary is next week, I didn’t buy anything. Just looking around. And my eyes caught something interesting. A maroon baju melayu (baju kurung). Nice, yang. I was thinking of getting a pair for you. But I need to know your size. Maybe later, once you are back, I’ll ask you for your size, k dear.

Tonight, as usual, I kept myself busy with beading. But somehow, you are still on my mind. Just can’t get you out of my head. I was doing my beading till about 2am. Then I went to my room, as usual, read your letter, and went to bed. You know what , dear? By reading your letters, it somehow makes me feel that you are close to me. So close that I feel like you can actually hear ever word I say to you every night, before I go to bed. Good night,dear. I love you….. muah!

Day 9

Friday (22/08/2008)

You know what, Dear? I was listening to mp3 when I started to write this. And guess what? The moment I started to write, the song “Izinkan Ku Pergi” by Kaer starts playing. Remember the song, dear? Yeah, the exact same song I gave to you a week after we got to know each other, when at that time we thought that we will be separated.

Listening to this song, really makes me misses you even more. More than words can describe. “Pergilah rinduku, hilangkan dirimu Tak sanggup menangung derita dikalbuku”. I really hope that you will be back soon, Dear. Today, I started my day as usual. No different from the previous day except for one. I miss you more today, compared to yesterday.

As at today, still no news from you. I really wonder how are you doing, Dear? Are they taking good care of you? How’s your health? Please do take good care of yourself, k dear. I might be physically far from you, but I’m always close to your heart.

Day 8

Thursday (21/08/2008)

Thanks to my sis. She decided to prepare dinner for us and also invited my 2 cousins to join us. She prepared Chicken chop with mushroom sauce. As for me, I prepared the salad. The 5 of us had our dinner at about 8 pm. We had a good laugh at all the jokes while having dinner. Then after dinner, someone proposed that we go for a cup of coffee at one of the coffee shop nearby. It was 9.30pm when we left home to hv a cup of coffee. Again we were talking and laughing till our eyes filled with tears. I really thank them for if its not because of them, I would probably be at home, crying. Yeah, I had a great time tonight. How I wish you were here, joining us for a cup of coffee.

As it is I’m missing you. Did I tell you that most of my fishes are dead, dear? As at today, 12 are dead. I’m not of the reason. Remember I told you about my guppies which died a few days ago, now it’s the orange fish. 2 of them. Both died. Could that be a bad sign, dear? I’m so worried about you, Dear. I really want to know your status. How are you doing there? Is everything OK? Dear, please be back soon…….

Day 7

Wednesday (20/08/2008)

Today is day 7. It’s been a week and I’m missing you like crazy already. Gosh! Just can’t wait till the day that you’ll be back.

Yang, just to let you know, another 4 died today. I seriously don’t know what actually happened. What is the cause. All I know, I feel sad with the lost. And thank god you were not here. Cos if you were here, I bet you will have to listen to stories about my fishes day and night. Hehehe Kesian Abang.

So far I’ve yet to receive any updates from Rizah. S o I assume that everything is in good condition and that my dearest chocolate will be back soon. Be back to his kecoh panda, who is waiting for him and praying for him.

Abang, I’m sorry. I cried again tonight before going to bed. I don’t know why. I guess the bed has many memories about us. Too many. The moment I lay down, I will always look at my handphone. Hoping for a miracle to happen, you calling me. And I can hear that voice of yours calling me “Aaaaaayang”. Heheheh I really miss that, you know.

And when you come back, I will definitely let you read this blog of mine, which I’ve created especially for you. I will never stop writing, never stop counting the days, until you come back to me.